Not So Fake Relationship
by elisesdean
Summary: A bunch of the guys are always hounding Emma, trying to get her to go out with them. Henry devises the plan to have his mothers pretend to date... *Swan Queen end-game* This is two versions of the same story; both chapters start the same but the story took me in two entirely different directions.
1. Chapter 1

****I decided to upload all the finished one-shots I had in my folders in gratitude for being such great friends and reviewers while I go on a (possibly very long hiatus).****

**Anonymous Asked You: Henry is becoming increasingly annoyed that all these guys keep trying to woo Emma so he hatches a plan with Regina to have Emma and Regina fake a relationship so that Hook, Neal, August and Jefferson will leave Emma alone.**

**AN: I added Graham for funsies. Hope you enjoy!**

"So you see mom. Not only would it benefit me, but Emma would be way less annoyed by them and annoying to you, and you, since you'd seemingly be in a stable, healthy relationship in which the two of you are raising your son together, you'd get the town back and your mayor-ship would never be questioned because it's not only a relationship and you're happy, but it's the savior that made you happy." Henry said as he pointed with his laser pointer that he stole from his mother's study to the little diagram he made on his giant dry-erase board. He turned to his brunette mother as he turned the pointer off, "Any questions?"

Regina sat there a moment taking everything in. Her seventeen-year-old told her that he had something very important to discuss with her, and when she saw the dry-erase board set up in front of the TV, she just knew that it was going to be the "Can I please get a dog?" conversation again. The one time it wasn't, she wished it were. She sighed as she sat forward, "Honey…. I—"

"I asked for questions, not doubts, Mom." Henry said pointedly as he sat on the coffee table in front of his mother.

Regina couldn't help the smirk that grew on her face as she took her very serious, very determined son in. She sobered as she spoke though, "You want me to convince Emma to have a fake relationship so that the three of us can live a little easier. No, I understand exactly what you're asking."

"So…? Will you talk to her? Or, I can talk to her then you guys can talk to each other… Come on, Mom. You've seen the way the penis parade follows her around…"

"Henry." Regina scolded, though the smile that broke during her son's alliterative dig at August, Hook, Neal, Jefferson and Graham (who had been found wandering with a wolf pack, very much alive during 'the lost year' when Henry and Emma were in New York and everyone else was in the Enchanted Forest) did not go unnoticed by her son.

"What? Come on… None of them are subtle. They might as well punch each other."

Regina looked around as she muttered, "I think a few of them have."

"Yeah… And then there's your guy who just…" Henry stood angry and walked a few feet pacing before look back to his mom, "I'm sorry all that went down…"

"It's neither here nor there anymore. It's been three years." Regina shrugged.

"Which is why it's time to get back on the saddle!" Henry said in a fake excited tone, "The fake saddle!"

Regina stared at her boy, her little man who was all grown up and not-so-subtly trying to get his mothers together. Yes, she did see through his genius plan to have them agree to 'pretend' to be together. She knew how much her son believed in true love, and she knew how he secretly wished upon stars that she and Emma would wind up together. She learned that one night as she was going to tell him goodnight, but heard him talking and her curious side got the better of her, so she eavesdropped.

She was going to tell him that it wasn't the best idea, and that it would raise more questions than solve all their problems. She was going to tell him 'no'. But a resounding, "I'll talk to Emma about it." came out of her mouth.

~0~0~0~0~0~

Emma walked out of the diner, not paying attention, just as Regina was walking in paying attention solely to her phone as she crafted the perfect "we need to talk message."

They ran smack into each other.

"Oh damn it!" Emma said by way of apology as she managed to narrowly save her to-go mug from falling on the ground.

"Watch where you're—Emma…" Regina's thumb spread on her phone and she hit send.

"Regina." Emma sidestepped the mayor as she looked around quickly. She saw one of the five men that seemed to always be on her ass, "Sorry, I need to…" She poofed away, knowing that Hook had seen her.

"Right…" Regina shook her head as she moved to the diner counter and looked at her phone. She saw that she'd accidentally hit send before her text was finished, "Shit." She muttered as she read the text message, _Henry wants us to be together. He thinks it will make the three of us happy in the long run. I'm not going to tell him 'no' without discussing it first. I think he's made valid points._

She'd been trying to construct a great text that would at first scare the sheriff then come off as witty as hell as per her usual. This was not that text message. This was a text that no doubt added to the sheriff's problems.

"Would you like your usual, Madam Mayor?"

Regina looked up to see Ruby, "Please. And make it to go."

~0~0~0~0~0~

Emma avoided Regina like the plague for the next three weeks. It wasn't until the monthly town meeting that she was able to call upon the sheriff in public and have her walk with her to her office while everyone in Town Hall watched on and wondered what the Sheriff had done now.

Regina flicked her wrist as she magically shut and locked the door. She turned after reaching the front of her desk and leaned against it.

Emma looked beyond uncomfortable. "Listen, Regina… I don't—I don't like you in that way… I don't like anyone in that way right now. I mean, if I had to pick between you and all my other suitors, I would hope it'd be obvious—"

"Emma!" Regina waved her hands frantically trying to get the blonde to shut up. "Stop! Don't—don't say anything more. I don't like you like that either…" She trailed off making sure that Emma would let her speak this time. Emma looked perplexed, "That text was the beginning draft of what was supposed to be a witty by the by, but when we bumped into each other at the diner, my thumb was hovering over 'send' apparently and it sent… I've been trying to tell you it was a joke. The Henry having points part, not his notion of pretending to date…"

"_Pretending_ to date?" Emma crossed her arms in thought before giving a throaty, "Hm."

"What? Of course. That's what I told you…"

"You..did..not actually." Emma had to think about each word before she said it as she was getting worked up.

"Yes—"

"NO! You said that the kid wanted us to be together and you thought he made valid points!"

Regina glared at Emma as she pulled out her phone. She looked and re-read her initial text message. With a purse of her lips, she put the phone away. "Very well."

Emma gave a pithy laugh, "'Very well'? That's it?"

The mayor walked around her desk and sat in her chair, "Yes. What more do you want?"

Emma opened her mouth about to say something witty as hell, but stopped short with her finger in the air as if she was going to make a point. "As…" She started, still thinking over what she wanted to say, "As an apology for the text, saving your ass countless times, letting you care for our son and threatening the kid's dad when he tried to argue, and being your friend in general, I would like to hear and agree with the valid points that Henry made. And I would like this fake relationship to start." She crossed her arms, "As soon as possible."

"Are you fuc—"

"Madam Mayor?" Regina's secretary walked in.

"WHAT?!"

The secretary, Neela, a fairy in her own right (a rejected fairy that could never handle magic properly, and always seemed child-like even though she'd been around since before the curse), cowered away never having been on the receiving end of Regina's anger even if by interruption, "Uhm…" Her voice quivered, "I'm sorry…"

Regina put up her hand, "No, I'm sorry, Neela. What is it?" Regina's voice was instantly free of anger.

Neela perked immediately, "Well… Emma's boyfriends are all waiting for her… They asked how much longer she'd be…?"

Emma turned, "Tell Emma's boyfriends that Emma's girlfriend is keeping her detained and they should all just go on about their days."

Regina put a hand over her face in embarrassment as Neela nodded once, not questioning Emma's words and walked out of the office once more. "Did you have to do that? You know she takes everything at face value…"

"That's why we love her, though. She's funny and cute…and not entirely there." Emma turned back to the brunette, "Also, solidifies the fact that we are now officially fake-dating." The sheriff gave a winning, closed-mouth grin and raised and lowered her brows once for effect.

~0~0~0~0~0~

Emma walked into a near empty diner the next morning. She sat in her usual booth and was looking over the Daily Mirror when the door to the kitchen swung open.

"OH MY GOD! I THOUGHT I SMELLED YOU!" Ruby ran over and sat across from the blonde, "Spill!"

Emma knit her brows, "Spill what?"

Ruby looked offended, "The Mayor?! You're banging her? I want the gory details."

Emma sat, staring at the werewolf, "I'm not telling you about anything I may or may not have done with the mayor… We're friends." The sheriff didn't want to admit that her conversation with Regina led her nowhere eventually and Regina basically guaranteed that she would be hounded by the guys for the rest of her days. Regina always seemed to turn it around on her.

"With benefits."

"With a kid."

Ruby gave her a bored look, "You and Nealfire are friends with a kid too…"

Emma rolled her eyes at the notion and went back to her paper. Ruby stood, knowing Emma wasn't going to give her anything, "Thing is, when I mention the idea of you and Neal you don't blush or get riled up like you do when I mention Regina…" She caught the sheriff's eye before walking off to fulfill her duties as waitress elsewhere.

Hook was the first one there that morning. "Swan." He said as he sat down, "What's this I hear about you falling for a certain…fiery brunette?"

Emma groaned, "Oh my god…" She rolled her eyes, "I don't want to give false hope, but Regina and I are just friends…"

"Who said anything about Regina? I was referring to myself."

Emma stared at the man before her. She was going to respond with more witty repartee, but she was cut off, "Emma Swan. Mother of my child." Neal came in, pushing Hook into the booth, so the focus would be on him.

Graham came in soon after, "Morning, Sheriff. If you want to go back to the office, I can get your breakfast for you…" It wasn't so much the sentence itself, so much as it was the dreamy look in Graham's eyes. She wasn't sure if he wanted to kiss her or kill her.

By the time Regina walked in for her morning coffee, Emma was surrounded by Hook, Neal, Graham, August and Jefferson. The blonde was on the booth's edge and could theoretically leave, but Regina knew that that wouldn't stop the men from following her.

When Emma caught her eyes, she gave a pathetic excuse for a smile before going back to looking at her hands.

Regina sighed after getting her coffee. She got up from her stool and walked over to the table with the five men and Emma Swan. She glared at them all, all of them quieting with a single look before her eyes turned to the blonde. "Sheriff, may I speak with you outside a moment?" She offered the blonde her hand.

Emma stared at it, she scrutinized it for a split second before looking up at the Mayor and taking the hand, following her just outside and just to the side of the door so as not to block anyone's path.

"Does this mean that you're—OW! What the hell?!" Emma glared as she felt the sting of Regina's hand on her face.

"It's all for show." Regina kept her stare on Emma as she flourished her arm out straight, pointing to the men in the diner, having the decency to look offended.

"What is happening right now?" Emma asked confused.

"We're bickering like couples do." Regina looked down playing up an almost sweet vulnerable side.

Emma smiled, "Really?!" she asked hopeful.

"Really." Regina nodded, "This is just because you're my only friend. I mean, obviously because of all of your other reasons, but I'm going to be as convincing as possible and make everyone believe it without magic because you're my friend." She looked into Emma's eyes before leaning in and kissing the blonde soundly.

The feeling that came over both of them as they felt themselves be watched was unlike anything either of them had ever felt. They liked putting on a show. But Regina kept the kiss short. She glared into the diner before leaving for her office.

Emma smirked, watching her leave before a full-fledged smile graced her face.

This was going to be fun.

~0~0~0~0~0~

Emma didn't walk back inside for her paper or the rest of her cocoa that morning. She actually avoided the diner the rest of the day, opting to go home for lunch that afternoon and staying in for dinner.

The next morning, after a long talk with Regina on the phone about boundaries or whatever the crap that Emma had no cares over, the sheriff found herself almost accosted by everyone's favorite waitress.

"What the hell?!" Emma yelped as she was brought to the back room by her ear. After Ruby let go, she rubbed the cartilage, "Really? My ear?"

"Well… My ear's always bent for you, so…" Ruby crossed her arms defiantly.

"So..?" Emma waited a moment studying her, "You do know that that means that the person's whose ear is bent is going to give advice, right?" At Ruby's look she nodded once, "And you don't want advice—What is your damage, Heather?"

Ruby merely cocked a brow, "You're still not gonna share? Even after she macked on you yesterday in front of the diner where all could see?!"

Emma stared at the brunette before you, "Rubes… You need to get laid." She said before walking to the door, "You can have…any of my male suitors…"

Ruby gave the sheriff a disgusted look, "I can get my own thank you. I _have _my own thank you. I don't need your mourning, sloppy seconds."

"Then get your own. You are entirely too fixated on my love life."

"Well!" Ruby started after her, "You! Are in love! With the Mayor! I can't help but be fascinated!"

Emma turned back quickly, giving the best hair flip in history. "I'm not in love with her." She almost growled out.

Ruby raised her brows in surprise and confusion as she watched the blonde walk back to the front of the diner, "Could have fooled me…"

~0~0~0~0~0~

Emma walked out to find Henry and Regina sitting the booth the blonde usually nabbed for herself.

No one else was up front, so Emma wouldn't get in complete and total trouble later for doing what she did next. She sauntered up to the booth, slid in next to Regina, wrapping an arm around her and peck her cheek with a big, slobbery kiss that would make anyone pull from the giver and give them a disgusted look, "Morning, Baby-Honey."

Henry just about rolled out of his side of the booth as he ducked forward to keep his amusement from his brunette mother, who yes, was currently wiping her cheek.

"Really?" Regina gave the woman a raised brow.

"Now, mom…" Henry sat up straight, and looked as if the last thing he had just been doing mere milliseconds before was laughing. "You and Emma are in a relationship. Pet names are a must."

Regina glared forward and blinked a few times, "I'll call you 'darling,' 'dear,' 'honey' or the usual 'Sheriff' or 'Emma'. I'll answer to 'darling,' 'dear,' 'honey' or 'Madam Mayor' or 'Regina.' Though, you don't seem the type to say 'darling,' and you seem the type that would say 'babe' and 'baby,' so I'll allow those. No hyphenated double names, no…" Regina turned, showing slight amusement but more disgust, "'Baby-Honey.' Okay?"

Emma pondered this for a good minute, nodding ever so slowly. Neither woman realized that Emma kept her arm around the brunette until the blonde's hand unconsciously stroked the back of Regina's hair and neck to get her attention.

Henry did notice. Though he said nothing.

Emma played it off and opened her mouth, "Fine. I'll agree to that. But uh… No 'dear' from you. You call everyone 'dear.' I feel like if you do, I'll get offended."

"Why would you get offended?"

Emma gave the brunette a serious look, "Because! We're in a relationship! If you call me dear, I'm bound to think that you're belittling me! Which usually when you call me 'dear' you are!"

"Yes, that's how it goes with everyone… Lest I'm talking to Henry, calling him 'dear'.."

Henry interjected, not missing a beat, "Sometimes even when she's talking to me." When he got the 'Atta kid' look from his blonde mother and an offended look from his brunette mother, he gave a half chuckle, "What? Mom, it's true. It's just how it is. Hey, I'm seventeen. I understand. I'm not a kid, but I'm not quite an adult…" he shrugged, "I need to get belittled sometimes."

Emma's amusement came in the form of a snort.

Regina would have commented, but the door chimed, alerting that there were more patrons entering the diner.

Ruby walked out a split second later ready to pour coffee for all. When she got to the Swan-Mills table she chanced a glance to Emma before looking at Regina and Henry, "So, what I can I get you all? Usual?"

"Please." Regina said for the trio.

Ruby nodded and, with her wolf-like ninja skills, she looked the couple over, studied how couple-y they were. And honestly, they looked pretty damn couple-y. Regina, in the time she'd been standing there, turned into Emma's side, the both of them blushed and Emma wrapped her arm around Regina's shoulders as if placating the mayor's fears, then they both looked to their smirking son.

There was something about Emma's statement earlier that was going to bug her. She knew she didn't know the whole story, and trying to figure it out was now going to be her pastime. She turned from the table quickly and put in their order.

After getting the morning rush taken care of, Ruby leaned against the counter, a smirk on her face as she watched the door. She'd been waiting for this all morning.

Graham, Hook, August and Neal practically pushed their way into the diner. When they saw Emma and Regina the four men stopped.

Jefferson walked around the wall of men with Grace. He indicated she sit next to Henry and pulled a seat up to the booth, sitting in it backwards.

"Morning, Emma."

Emma stared at him, "Jefferson." She looked to Grace, "Hi, Gracie."

"Hi, Emma."

The other four men sat at the table that Jefferson's chair belonged to and watched on.

"Emma…" Jefferson tried to get her attention.

"Yes?" Emma turned from Regina to the man that made himself comfy at their table.

"Would you like to go out tonight?"

"She can't." Regina spoke up.

Jefferson knit his brows, "I'm sorry, Regina, I wasn't aware you were her keeper."

Regina pursed her lips, smirking. She leaned forward intimidatingly, "You need to pay better attention then, Hatter." She glowered, "The sheriff is busy, and she will stay busy. Don't bother her anymore." She looked behind Jefferson, "That goes for the rest of you as well."

Regina pushed Emma, silently asking her to let her out of the booth. Once the two of them were standing, Regina pecked the blonde and picked at imaginary fuzzies on Emma's jacket.

"Well, darling." Regina's eyes lit up as she looked into Emma's. She kept her hands on the blonde's shoulders and puckered her lips, leaning in for another swift peck. "I think I've 'peed on my territory' as you put it."

Emma wrapped her arms around the mayor, "Yes you did." She relished in the attention the entire town was seemingly giving them.

"I'll talk with you later." Regina had the decency to look around the diner with a blush and pull from Emma's hold.

"Yeah. I'll bring you lunch." Emma walked Regina out of the diner. "Where do you think you're going so fast. This is a full blown relationship, remember?" She asked as she pulled Regina into her hold and kissed her hard. She grinned as she pulled away, "You're a damn fine kisser, Madam Mayor."

"Of course." Regina played the compliment off before giving the blonde a wink and walking to her car.

Henry and Grace ran passed Emma, pulling her eyes from Regina's car as it made it's way down the street.

"Sorry, Emma. We're running late for school!" Henry said as he bumped into his mother.

"You guys want a lift?"

"Nah, we're good." Henry waved her off as he and his best friend made their way in the direction of the school.

~0~0~0~0~0~

Emma knocked twice before waltzing into the mayor's office. She tossed a to-go bag on the desk, narrowly avoiding the papers Regina was trying to sign, and started dealing out their meal, "Chicken Caesar wrap with fresh fruit and a lemonade for the lady." She winked before getting her own burger and fries and fruit punch for herself.

Regina stared on disgustedly as Emma's face became sodden with grease. "You realize that at the rate you eat the greasiest stuff at Granny's that we won't be playing this little game for long?"

Emma genuinely laughed with a mouth full of food. "Because I'm gonna have a heart attack?"

"Precisely."

"Can't let you off that easy…" Emma sat back, "Maybe you should start ordering for me. Make me eat healthier for that very reason. I'll bet relationship-Emma-and-Regina would settle on that."

"Oh you do?"

Emma nodded, "Also… I should probably start eating over at the mansion, hanging around most evenings. I don't know why relationship-Emma-and-Regina wouldn't agree to that either…"

"Emma…" Regina shook her head.

"What? I'm serious. Think about it… How many people watch our every move? An entire town? They're going to suspect if they notice we don't spend time together…"

Regina was suspicious. "I suppose."

"So… See you tonight?"

~0~0~0~0~0~

Emma had been over practically every night for the last four months. Regina and Emma had been on fake dates, and they always made their way back to the mansion.

Ruby found it odd that they never smelled of each other like Mary Margaret and David—or really any other couple in Storybrooke. Mary Margaret and David were coping with the idea of Regina becoming part of their family… again. And the non-familial men of Emma's life had settled their differences and started looking at other women of the town.

Henry just knew that his mothers were falling for each other.

And his mothers just knew that the other would run and hide the moment that their true feelings—their true feelings that seemed to come from nowhere—slipped out. They did their damndest to keep quite.

Emma rang the bell. They'd decided on a movie night, Emma's choice.

Henry answered and, with a backpack over his shoulder, he bolted passed his mother, "Hi Emma, bye Emma." He ran down the sidewalk.

"Was it something I said?" Emma asked as she stood in the doorway.

"He's spending the night at a friend's." Regina's voice came from behind her.

Emma turned, a smile growing on her face, "Just the two of us? Oh how the town will talk of how we're definitely sleeping together now." She waggled her brows as she pushed her way inside.

"You're so funny." Regina spoke softly, yet sarcastically.

"Call me Fanny Brice." Emma smirked.

Regina shook her head, "What did you bring for us tonight?"

"You're gonna laugh."

"I promise I'll try not to." Regina pursed her lips as she led the blonde to the kitchen.

Emma set the five movies down on the counter and waited.

Regina looked them over, "Huh…"

"Go on. I guess I'll let you laugh."

"No, no, it's just… they're all so different."

"Yes they are."

"I mean… I get _Fried Green Tomatoes. _I've seen the novel lying around your apartment and office."

Emma blushed, but said nothing. Regina went about looking at the movies.

"I get _Victor Victoria_. You have a weird thing for Julie Andrews, I've noticed."

Again, Emma blushed, but said nothing. And again, Regina stared at the movies noticing nothing.

"But _In Time_, _Miss Congeniality_ and _The Lion King_?"

Emma shrugged, playing Regina's insight/knowledge into her person off. "I wanted you to have options."

Regina nodded once before moving to the wine bottle at the other end of the counter, "Wine? Or… You're Green Apple Smirnoff is in the fridge."

Emma smirked as she saw the woman's disgusted snarl when she opted for the fridge, "You know that if they made red apple, I'd like that better." She placated the brunette.

"Green apples are grotesque."

"Only because of your sister." Emma said as she popped open her bottle. She stared at it a moment and grinned when she watched the flavor change before her eyes. She, at first, asked Regina to start buying them as a joke, but when she conceited, she felt obligated to drink them. She had to admit, that green apples always left her stomach sore, so since the first time she drank, she'd been magicking the bottles for a candy apple flavor with a red design and keeping it hidden from Regina.

"Do I need a better reason?"

"Just try it." Emma stuck the neck of the bottle in the brunette's face.

"No! I'll stick with my wine, thank you."

Emma stared at the bottle a moment before setting it on the counter. "Fine, which movie do you want me to put in?"

"Candy Apple?"

Emma turned not-so-confused, "That's not a movie."

Regina held up the bottle, "This isn't a flavor…"

Emma merely shrugged, looked down, and rubbed the back of her neck, "I know."

"_Fried Green Tomatoes_." Regina said as she took a sip from Emma's drink.

Emma nodded and put the movie on.

Regina made them a homemade pizza; they'd pigged out during _Fried Green Tomatoes_ and decided on dessert during the next movie, which turned out to be _The Lion King_. Neither noticed—okay they noticed, but neither commented on how close they came to cuddle during either feature.

Emma leaned forward and set the stems of Regina's and her chocolate covered strawberries on a plate as she recited Timon's lines just before "Can You Feel The Love Tonight?"

"I tell ya Pumbaa. This stinks."

Regina turned her head from the animated characters on her screen and stared at the blonde as she settled back into the couch, back next to her, back with the blonde's arm wrapped around her lower back in the space between her body and the corner of the couch where the back and seat meet, back with blonde hair all over her shoulder. She hoped that her gulp was not audible.

"Not you! Them! Him. Her. Alone…" Emma chuckled at her own impression before she started singing, "I can see what's happening. And they don't have a clue. They'll fall in love, and here's the bottom line: Our trio's down to two. Ze sweet caress of twilight. There's magic everywhere." She looked up at Regina with a twinkle in her eye as she continued, "And with all this romantic atmosphere…" She trailed off for the last line of Timon's solo.

They stared at each other as the chorus played through.

_Can you feel the love tonight?_

_The peace the evening brings?_

_Our world for once, in perfect harmony_

_With all its living things_

"Regina?" Emma whispered out.

"What?"

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you're scared we're about to cross a line we can't uncross?"

"Because we're about to cross it…"

"Do you want to?"

"Do you?"

Emma smiled a soft smile, the corners of her mouth barely moving up. She leaned in and kissed the woman. There was no thrill of performance. This was just for them. And it was the best damn kiss either woman had ever had.

~0~0~0~0~0~

Emma walked into the diner the next morning with a lazy smile on her face. Ruby was on her like stink on cheese.

"You guys had sex." Ruby whispered knowingly as she set a cup of cocoa in front of the sheriff.

Emma's smile only grew to a grin before she took a sip of her cocoa.

Ruby slapped the table happily, "EMMA!" She laughed, causing the few people in the diner's attention, "Sorry. Got excited." She waved them off. After making sure they turned back to whatever they were doing, she leaned forward, "So…?"

Emma shook her head, that lazy grin still on her face, "Have you…" She stopped, "Have you ever seen Regina naked?"

Ruby tried not to laugh at the question, "You know Sheriff, I can't say I have."

"You're missing out…" Emma sighed before regaining herself, "I mean… Good. That you haven't, but… Seriously, just the sight of her naked is life-altering, let alone…" She trailed off again.

Ruby bit her lips a moment, "So… Is it safe to say that you might love your girlfriend now?"

Emma merely smiled again and took another sip of her cocoa.

"Good. That's good." Ruby exhaled dramatically, "I'm glad the Savior has finally found her true love. We can all get in trouble and things can happen again and it's okay because neither of the two most powerful women will die."

"Oh, I'm sorry, is a quiet life too boring for you?"

Ruby sighed, nodding, "I need another lemur, Emma."

"Tell Belle how you feel about her." Emma said without missing a beat.

"Can't say that'll happen. Ever." With that, the werewolf stood and left the table. After playfully glaring back at the Sheriff, she moved about the diner.

Regina walked in a few minutes later.

No one in town had ever seen the goofy grin of a woman in love on the Mayor's face before that day.

Over time, the town came to know that face well. Both the Sheriff and the Mayor wore it.

When Henry found out that his plan worked, he was more than thrilled, but as time went on, and he had to witness his mothers making out every day, he started spending more time at his dad's. Though that seemed to fail too because after his dad and the other guys that were always chasing after his mom knew that there was never going to be a chance for them to get together, they found love elsewhere. Jefferson found Ariel, August found a former she-puppet named Truly Scrumptious, Nealfire found Tink and Hook and Graham found each other. It seemed everywhere he went people were making out. Even in the diner, Belle and Ruby would go at it—they'd found each other too. His grandparents really needed to stop talking about how they always find each other because the entire town was going to end up splitting in two and needing to find each other again by the next magical evil being they'd have to face.

But… He was happy. And his moms were happy. And his dad was happy too, which was a bonus (he'd be lying if he said that his plan included his dad's happiness—it was assumed that if he could get over Emma that he'd be ready for a real relationship, but really, Henry was focused on his mothers who really needed his help).

And his mothers were grateful for his plan, and they were grateful that their not-so-fake relationship turned into an obviously-we're-spending-the-rest-of-our-lives-together kind of relationship.


	2. Chapter 2

**Anonymous Asked You: Henry is becoming increasingly annoyed that all these guys keep trying to woo Emma so he hatches a plan with Regina to have Emma and Regina fake a relationship so that Hook, Neal, August and Jefferson will leave Emma alone.**

**AN: Hope you enjoy!**

"So you see mom. Not only would it benefit me, but Emma would be way less annoyed by them and annoying to you, and you, since you'd seemingly be in a stable, healthy relationship in which the two of you are raising your son together, you'd get the town back and your mayor-ship would never be questioned because it's not only a relationship and you're happy, but it's the savior that made you happy." Henry said as he pointed with his laser pointer that he stole from his mother's study to the little diagram he made on his giant dry-erase board. He turned to his brunette mother as he turned the pointer off, "Any questions?"

Regina sat there a moment taking everything in. Her seventeen-year-old told her that he had something very important to discuss with her, and when she saw the dry-erase board set up in front of the TV, she just knew that it was going to be the "can I please get a dog" conversation again. The one time it wasn't, she wished it was. She sighed as she sat forward, "Honey…. I—"

"I asked for questions, not doubts, Mom." Henry said pointedly as he sat on the coffee table in front of his mother.

Regina couldn't help the smirk that grew on her face as she took her very serious, very determined son in. She sobered as she spoke though, "You want me to convince Emma to have a fake relationship so that the three of us can live a little easier. No, I understand exactly what you're asking."

"So…? Will you talk to her? Or, I can talk to her then you guys can talk to each other… Come on, Mom. You've seen the way the penis parade follows her around…"

"Henry." Regina scolded, though the smile that broke during her son's alliterative dig at August, Hook, Neal, Jefferson and Graham, who had been found wandering with a wolf pack, very much alive during 'the lost year' when Henry and Emma were in New York and everyone else was in the Enchanted Forest.

"What? Come on… None of them are subtle. They might as well punch each other."

Regina looked around as she muttered, "I think a few of them have."

"Yeah… And then there's your guy who just…" Henry stood angry and walked a few feet pacing before look back to his mom, "I'm sorry all that went down…"

"It's neither here nor there anymore. It's been three years." Regina shrugged.

"Which is why it's time to get back on the saddle!" Henry said in a fake excited tone, "The fake saddle!"

Regina stared at her boy, her little man was all grown up and not-so-subtly trying to get his mothers together. Yes, she did see through his genius plan to have them agree to 'pretend' to be together. She knew how much her son believed in true love, and she knew how he secretly wished upon stars that she and Emma would wind up together. She learned that one night as she was going to tell him goodnight, but heard him talking. And her curious side got the better of her, so she eavesdropped.

She was going to tell him that it wasn't the best idea, and that it would raise more questions than solve all their problems. She was going to tell him 'no'. But a resounding, "I'll talk to Emma about it." came out of her mouth.

~0~0~0~0~0~

Emma was walking out of the diner, not paying attention, just as Regina was walking in paying attention solely to her phone as she crafted the perfect "we need to talk message."

They ran smack into each other.

"Oh damn it!" Emma said as she managed to narrowly save her to-go mug from falling on the ground.

"Watch where you're—Emma…" Regina's thumb spread on her phone and she hit send.

"Regina." Emma side-stepped the mayor as she looked around quickly. She saw one of the five men that seemed to always be on her ass, "Sorry, I need to…" She poofed away, knowing that Neal had seen her.

"Right…" Regina shook her head as she moved to the diner counter and looked at her phone. She saw that she'd accidentally hit send before her text was finished, "Shit." She muttered as she read the text message, _Henry wants us to be together. He thinks it will make the three of us happy in the long run. I'm not going to tell him 'no' without discussing it first. I think he's made valid points._

She'd been trying to construct a great text that would at first scare the sheriff then come off as witty as hell as per her usual. This was not that text message. This was a text that no doubt added to the sheriff's problems.

"Would you like your usual, Madam Mayor?"

Regina looked up to see Ruby, "Please. And make it to go."

She started typing an apology and explaining what she was going to say when a response came.

_You thought that a text was the best way to start this conversation?_

Regina backspaced all of her words and responded as pithily as possible, _You got something to say about it? Meet me in my office._

Her food was set in front of her. "Thank you." She gave a curt smile before placing a bill on the counter, grabbing her coffee and breakfast and poofing out of the diner.

She poofed to her office to find Emma in her chair, legs on her desk sitting back, relaxed.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Emma smirked as she turned, letting her legs drop to the ground, "Apparently I'm about to get lucky… You think the kid has valid points? Regina…" She grinned a grin that was meant to purely rile the brunette up.

"This is not about a few months ago." Regina avoided eye contact at all cost. She turned completely, leaning against the front of her desk at the corner.

Emma stood and walked around to stand square at the brunette's side. She took in Regina's bowed profile, studying her a bit before leaning in, "Kind of wish it was…" she started as she stepped in close. She set a hand on the corner of the desk and let her nose and lips just barely brush Regina's jaw line before reaching her ear, "A few months ago was… stimulating… sexy as hell.."

Regina swallowed hard, her jaw set with determination. She would not be the one that broke, "This isn't about a few months ago. He made a chart detailing why our pretending to be together would make all our lives easier…" She pushed from the desk and took a few steps before turning to face Emma, "Though, I do think that he wants us to be together as well. I think that's his plan in the long run. That it will happen naturally if we pretend long enough…" Regina rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms.

Emma stared at the other woman blankly for a moment before, "Okay, fine, but can we really be together while we pretend we're together?"

Regina turned for her couch and waved the blonde off, "Emma, please! Be serious."

"What? We know how the kid would react now. We know we're good in bed together. What more do you want?"

"I would like you to stop playing around with this situation and understand what you're potentially agreeing to…" Regina again crossed her arms as she turned at her new place next to the coffee table.

Emma stared at the brunette as she took a step closer. She watched Regina's brown orbs watch her feet first then slowly move up to lock with her own green ones as she dared to get closer and closer to the other woman. And when she finally got close enough to touch her, she sighed, "Regina…" Before she took the brunette's face in her hands and kissed her soft and sweet, yet with enough passion to pack a punch. "That. I'm agreeing to that. In public. With you…"

Regina turned from her, "It's more than that."

"It is." Emma nodded.

"It's a.._fake_ relationship."

Emma gave the brunette a stern look before giving in, nodding once. "I know."

"Fake." Regina said softly, sternly.

"I know." Emma nodded again.

"This isn't about a few months ago. This is something Henry came to me with."

"Okay." The blonde accepted Regina's reasons. "But when it does become about a few months ago and you're ready and able to admit what I already know, you need to let it happen and not run scared like you might want to…"

Regina took a long gulp of air to swallow the lump in her throat, "I know."

"Then let the fun begin."

~0~0~0~0~0~

That early evening, just after the day ended, Emma rang the mansion's doorbell a few times, more to pester Regina than out of urgency. She looked around to see a few people; one walking a dog, one getting mail, one getting ready to mow, and resident old lady gossip Norma Winston tending to her flowers. She smiled Norma's way before the door opened.

"Emma…?"

"Hey kid." Emma turned to her son and pushed her way into the mansion, "What's shakin'?"

Henry shut the door, "Um.. Nothing—Hey, did mom talk to you?"

"About us pretend dating? Yeah. Why do you think I'm over here?"

Henry sulked for a moment, "Oh… You're here to tell me you guys aren't gonna do it."

"What? No! I'm over here to get the party started." Emma inhaled deeply, "Speaking of food…" she walked into the kitchen, "I thought I smelled your Mexican."

"No one said anything about food." Regina turned to the blonde with a glare, eyeing the hand that was getting close to their meal, "And—hey!" The brunette slapped the blonde's hand, "I don't remember asking you for dinner."

"I know, but I figured… theoretically, for relationship-Emma-and-Regina, this is how I would weasel my way to your heart, by coming over unannounced, eating your delicious food, spending the evening with you, spending the night with you, you know, just constantly hanging around you…" Emma smirked as the woman before her.

Regina kept her stare on Emma as she spoke to their son, "Henry, later in life when you're out of the house and hopefully in college, if you ever have a crush on someone, don't take after your mother."

Henry grinned as he watched the two of them, "O-okay, mom." He said finally, his grin not fading in the slightest.

His plan was totally working. His moms were easily going to fall in real love.

"Ow! Regina!" Emma glared at the woman after receiving another slap to her hand.

"You can eat when the food is ready."

"Awe, so you did plan for me?"

Regina mumbled loud enough to be heard, "Actually, I planned for leftovers for tomorrow, but what's the point in that when I will now apparently have two Hoovers around me?"

Emma and Henry gave the same shit-eating grin to the brunette woman.

"So we're gonna have more dinners just the three of us?" Henry asked.

"Unless you have someone you'd like to invite?" Emma looked at her son pointedly.

This caused the boy to blush, "No."

"That no sounded a whole lot like a 'yes'." Emma chuckled at the deep shade of red her son was turning.

Henry pursed his lips, "I'll be in my room until dinner."

Regina had the decency to hide a smirk as she nodded and put the carnitas she was preparing in the oven. She waited until the thumping up the stairs stopped and the sound of a door closing came. "You have a knack for embarrassing him…" She didn't realize until it was much too late that Emma came up behind her. She turned her head to see the blonde's face and gasped at the proximity, "Oh…"

Emma kissed the woman softly as she wrapped her arms around the brunette, "So…" She pecked those lips she already loved again, "I was thinking that… With Norma, this isn't going to be all that difficult to sell… I can stay over a few nights a week. We can meet at the diner more frequently for breakfast with the kid… My money's on rumors spreading tomorrow about my car staying out all night here, and then the news spreads again two days after tomorrow, and that will cause Ruby to start questioning the both of us… Norma too." The sheriff raised and lowered her brows as if accepting a challenge as she squeezed Regina's sides before hugging her close, kissing her neck.

"And in the meantime, what do we tell our son?"

"That we're acting the part?"

"You think he'll buy that?" Regina asked in a tone that told the blonde she better not think that true.

"No, but I don't think he'll question it any further."

"I think that you'll be going home tonight…" Regina said after a moment of soaking in much needed attention from another human that was not her son.

"Oh? Why's that?"

"I think that as two responsible mothers that we wouldn't let our emotions take us to bed on the first quasi-date with our son. I think that you might spend the night by the end of the week."

Emma broke from the brunette and slumped, "But I…"

"Wanted a repeat of a few months ago…" Regina shook her head, "Sorry, no."

Emma knit her brows, confused.

"What, you thought you were in control?" Regina scrunched her nose and nuzzled the blonde, "That's adorable." She sobered, "We're not going to go any faster or slower, fake or otherwise, than the pace I want to go at."

Emma's jaw jut out to the side, a small grin forming despite her frustration, "Okay." She nodded before leaning in and kissing her again, "But I'm gonna kiss you anytime I want when we're both completely and totally alone…"

Regina smirked as she pushed passed her and moved to the living room, "Only because I'm going to let you."

~0~0~0~0~0~

Emma had a shit-eating smile on her face the entire morning as she snuck out of the mayor's mansion and went back to her apartment. She respected said mayor enough that, after they woke up the next morning and Regina told her not to say anything, she didn't say a word about the whole not waiting until the end of the week before she spent the night thing.

That was until she got to her office and pulled out her phone, _So much for your taking things slow plan. My plan rules!_ She texted the brunette woman.

She couldn't help the smile that graced her features when she saw the purple smoke form on her floor. That smile cracked to a lazy grin when Regina appeared, annoyed as all get out.

"I told you not to say a thing about it." Regina said seriously.

"Morning, Beautiful." Emma smirked, not bothering to get up from her chair. Instead, she kicked her feet up and watched the anger build in the brunette's eyes before it evaporated and a stunned blush took over her features.

"What is this? What are you doing?" Regina gestured to the blonde.

"What? I can't call you beautiful?"

"No, you can… I just mean…" Regina shrugged, "Who are you and what have you done with Emma Swan?"

Emma grinned as she stood finally and walked over to the brunette, "I told you I was gonna be real while we were pretend…"

"And you being cutesy is real?"

"I am not cutesy." Emma almost spat the words in the brunette's face.

Regina started to chuckle, her anger about Emma getting her way dissipating, "You're fluffy and adorable."

"Well!" Emma didn't have a good argument in her, "You like it!" She said after a moment.

And Regina was back to quasi-anger.

~0~0~0~0~0~

A week and a half passed. Thus far no one asked her about Regina. Not even Ruby.

The weird thing was, she could tell that Ruby was dying to ask her about it. She could see it on her face. But alas! No one did.

Emma sat in a booth as she waited on Regina and Henry. She'd ordered their meals and was waiting as patiently as possible even though bacon was in front of her. The three of them agreed to take it up a notch, and they were going to mention a date-date in public.

As soon as her son and her secret-but-trying-to-be-public-but-still-secret girlfriend came in the diner, Emma perked up. She knit her brows as she watched Regina and Henry survey the place before Regina nudged their son Emma's direction and made her way to the diner.

"What's she doing?" Emma asked as Henry sat down.

"Good morning, Emma. I'm fine. Can't stay long because I have school and Mom's got back to back meetings and paperwork and we were running late." Henry smirked as he sat down before digging into his breakfast.

Emma glared over to the woman, "No fair." the sheriff mumbled under her breath.

Regina, after getting her coffee, walked over to them and stayed standing, "Henry, are you almost ready?"

"Yeamawmn." Henry tried to speak around his full mouth as he shoveled in more food.

Regina rolled her eyes before looking to the blonde, "I assume you're to thank for that."

Emma glared playfully, "Hey now… Kid's got a father—and a grandfather I know that look just like that when they eat too."

"I'd hardly say I don't know how to eat in front of a lady." Neal walked over seemingly from nowhere and sat down next to Henry. "Hey, Henry. How's it going?"

Henry shrugged and mumbled more unintelligible words.

Neal laughed, "That good, huh?"

Henry nodded again and again shoveled more food down his gullet.

Neal looked over to Emma. He didn't seem to notice that Emma and Regina were having a moment, nor did he seem to notice that one of Emma's hands was currently tracing the back of Regina's knee and thigh.

Henry did. He finished the last of his food and swallowed, waiting with humor-filled anticipation as he saw his dad's dreamy-eyed look. When nothing else happened except for a glare from his brunette mother, he piped up, down-playing his disappointment, "Okay, Mom. I'm ready now." He said, pushing on his dad's shoulder to let him out.

"Okay, well…" Emma stood up as well. She took the belt loop of Regina's slacks as she stood to keep the brunette close to her, "I'll uh… See you tonight? Pick you up at seven?"

"Seven sounds good." Regina nodded.

They were mere inches apart. Henry glanced over to his dad again, who now, was looking rather confused.

"I might drop by with lunch if your schedule is as tight as you've led our son to believe…"

"Oh? I might be able to break for a quick lunch in the office, if you don't mind…" Regina smiled as she felt Neal studying them. She smirked when she felt Emma lean in further.

Emma was smirking as well.

"Hey, Swan!" Hook walked in, shoving Jefferson and August out of the way.

Emma's eyes immediately rolled to the back of her head.

Regina smirked as she pulled from the blonde, "Good luck." The woman had the gall to chuckle at Emma's misfortune.

"I'll bring you lunch." Emma called after the mayor before being accosted by the other two men. "What the hell do you want?" She clenched up trying to keep herself away from prying hands and lewd gestures and dopey eyes.

"I want to know when you'll do all the gents a favor and tell them that you've picked me." Hook said as he allowed Emma to sit in her booth before quickly sitting next to her, killing August or Jefferson's chance to sit next to her.

"I want to know when you'll all get the hint that I don't want any from any of you losers."

All four of the men laughed heartily, all of them loving how real Emma was with everyone and how much each of them wanted her.

The rest of the breakfast period was filled with jokes and jests towards Emma's four suitors until finally she made her way over to her office.

She'd been alone actually doing the paperwork she was supposed to do when she heard a thump-thump of boots against the floors in the hallway. She looked up to see Neal shuffle into the station.

"Hey, lady." He gave her a grin.

Emma knit her brows. 'Hey, lady?' She hadn't heard that in a good 20 years or so. She studied him, sitting back in her chair, arms crossed, brows still know, "Nealfire…" She paused. After the curse broke and Neal first came to them, Henry, clever kid he is, came up with the nickname after watching E! News with his blonde mother, hearing about Brangelina and various other couple names. Emma couldn't help but call him by the name combo as well.

Neal came into her office after getting a cup of coffee and sat down across from her, "How are you doing?"

Emma's curious, suspicious expression stayed on her face, "What is this? What are you doing? Why are you in here acting all weird?"

"I just want to know what you're up to?"

"I'm up to nothing."

"What are you doing for sex?" The man asked plainly.

Had Emma had coffee in her mouth, she would have showered Nealfire, "Excuse me?!"

"Seriously." Neal spoke simply, as if he were asking for a napkin, "What are you doing for sex?"

"Neal." Emma scolded.

"Come on. We both know that you are one that can't go without it for very long."

Emma stood up gruffly, she slammed her hands on her desk leaning forward, towering over the man, "You're gonna wanna leave now."

Neal looked up at her questioningly, "What? What'd I do?"

"I don't know whether you're about to whore yourself out or if you simply wanted to come in here and jealously call _me_ a whore, but either way this conversation isn't going to continue. So you're gonna wanna leave now."

Neal stared at the blonde for a good 10 seconds, "I'm not gonna whore myself out and I'm certainly not referring to the mother of my child as a whore."

"Oh really? Because that's what it sounded like."

"Emma.." Neal had an amused glimmer in his eye and a smile hiding in the corners of his mouth, "You're a sexual person by nature. There's nothing wrong with that. This is the 21st century. Women will soon be running this world entirely, that I have no doubt about. I would never call you a whore. You're not. You don't have sex for money. You don't have sex for any other reason than you're relatively attracted to the other person and you're letting off steam, you're attracted to the person and you simply want to, or you're completely devoted to the person and you're showing them just how deep your devotion lies."

He chuckled before sobering so much he was hardly amused and more depressed, "I was once lucky enough to be the devoted but I threw that away…" He looked at the blonde once more, "So. As I've easily deduced, it's not me. And it sure as hell isn't Jefferson or August. And since I've known the man and seen him both sexually satisfied and frustrated, I know it's not Hook." He stared at her a moment more, taking a breath, "And since I've known you enough to know when you're getting yours and when you're frustrated as hell…." His grin came back, "What are you doing for sex?"

"Nothing." It was a bold-faced like and both parties in the room knew it. "I'm… focusing on the kid. Focusing on my job… I'm not sleeping with anybody."

"Ruby?"

"NO!" Emma laughed after at the thought, "Not that she's not hot, just…"

"She's no Regina."

"Exactly." Emma knit her brows. "Wait. What?" She kept her eyes on her desk.

Had she looked at her baby daddy, she would have seen the amusement shining bright as he stood up. "I thought so." He chuckled.

"What are you doing? Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get mine… whoever she may be."

"Or he." Emma called after him.

Neal turned and shrugged his shoulders, "You never know!" He walked back a few steps, "Maybe Henry will get two mommies and two daddies."

Emma grinned, "Talk about modern family, how cute would that be!"

Neal laughed along with the sheriff before he started for the door again, "You two really are cute." At the roll of Emma's eyes, he continued, "Not hot, not sexy—which, well, we all know both of you are and it's true that most guys including myself will go there from time to time, but I don't mean it like that. I mean that she compliments you and you… bring something out in her. An ease, a simple calming charm."

"How could you possibly know that?"

"Well for one you couldn't keep your hands off her this morning and she didn't seem to notice that she was actually smiling in public…"

"And?" Emma waited for another reason.

Neal laughed once more, "And I don't need another." He walked out of the station.

~0~0~0~0~0~

Henry made a cocoon on the floor and his mothers were on the couch. They'd opted for a night of binge-ing on "Chuck." His blonde mother loved the show. He wouldn't lie, he enjoyed it, but Emma seemed to have a special kinship with Chuck Bartowski.

He'd been engrossed with the goings on of Chuck and the will they or won't they already of Chuck and Sarah and thoroughly appreciated anything that came out of Casey's mouth, but there was giggling from the couch. Giggling. Giggling and scolding. He knit his brows and kept his eyes forward.

"Emma Swan!" He heard his brunette mother and a slap of some kind.

Then an "Ow!" from Emma came before more laughterd.

And then, "I said stop! Miss….Swan!" The involuntary laughter that escaped between 'Miss' and 'Swan' caused Henry to sit up and turn around.

This made both of his mothers sit up straight and stare ahead.

"Can we help you?" Emma stared blankly at her son.

"Is everything okay over there?" He asked.

"Splendid." Regina nodded, curling her legs under her and intentionally kicking the blonde woman in the process.

"Ow!" Emma grinned at Regina, "Your mom is pissy because she tried to tell me she wasn't ticklish even though I know—I know!—that she's got this little spot right here just above her left hip." She snaked a hand over Regina's body and squeezed and ticked right above Regina's left hip.

Henry stared at his mothers blankly, "How did you know that she was ticklish right there?"

Emma and Regina both looked off in the same direction, "Because…" Emma started.

"She..I..we…" Regina tried to contribute.

"Because you…?" Henry waited with that tone he'd had a lot lately. That tone that told his mothers that he knew of their goings on and he'd just caught them in the middle of it yet again. "What?"

Emma glared at her son, "You know what? You know what? Just-just-just turn around and watch the show." She pointed at the TV and didn't stop until he turned back around.

Regina then stared at the blonde.

"What?" Emma hissed.

The brunette smirked before shifting her legs to sprawl out over Emma's. She waited a moment before Emma finally dared to lean towards her. Regina simply smirked again and turned, waiting for the blonde to fall in behind her between her and the couch. And when the blonde finally dared to do that, she turned onto her back for a moment and pressed her forehead against hers, closing her eyes, "Don't tickle me anymore tonight, please."

"Okay." Emma whispered, a grin growing on her face. She puckered her lips and tilted her head just enough to find Regina's.

Regina turned fully on her back, letting Emma hover over her as their kiss deepened. She wrapped one arm around Emma's middle and the hand landed on the apple of Emma's cheek. She pulled away from the blonde, pecking her once more in reassurance, "Let's not get carried away…" She pointed Henry's direction with her eyes before looking back at her.

"Twat-blocker." Emma mumbled.

Regina lightly spanked Emma's ass with the hand that had made it's way around her body, "Language."

Emma couldn't help but laugh softly as she settled behind Regina, "Can I hold you like you like?"

Regina gave a small grin as she nodded letting Emma's hands run where they may before settling on around her waist and under her pillow.

~0~0~0~0~0~

It had been two whole months and aside from Neal finding them out, no one else commented on the savior and the queen. The other three men had immediately stopped coming onto her—like almost immediately after Neal found out about Regina.

It was a little disappointing considering the fact that gossip arises around someone when they forget to recycle…

Emma walked in the diner one day after a fight with Regina. See, Regina didn't care that no one cared and Emma couldn't believe that she didn't care and she might have—on accident—thrown the words "you cursed them to not care, didn't you?" at Regina. She didn't mean to! They just popped out! She of course felt like a jackass.

But that was why she came to the diner.

"Hey, Sheriff… You okay there?" Ruby asked coming up to the blonde at the counter.

"No." Emma sulked.

"Hot cocoa?"

"Extra cinnamon?"

"Oh my god. What's wrong?" Ruby asked immediately knowing that this was serious.

Emma sighed and looked around, "I might have gotten angry at my..at Regina and I might have accused her of enacting another curse…"

"Another curse? What kind of curse? Everything seems normal…"

Emma sighed again, embarrassed and feeling stupid over the fact that she said what she said. "Well, I was pissed that no one seemed to give a rat's ass that we're, you know, together. And she didn't care and said that it was her life and what did it matter? And I… I mean I've never really been in a good relationship before and I guess being a Charming, I have this little part of me that wants to show her off and shout it from the rooftops or whatever. And by that I mean egg the rumors on and brag about how good the sex is. But I can't do that because there are no rumors and no one is asking me about the sex and…" Emma pouted, "And I'm a total jackass and I just wanna apologize and cuddle but she's real pissed and won't let me go near her."

Ruby stood straight and carefully folded her hands together, "So what I'm hearing is that you don't mind listening to rumors about you and the mayor and you are willing to confirm to the diner that you have in fact been doing the hibity dibity."

"And dating for real for fake for real."

Ruby knit her brows, but shrugged it off, "And dating." She added.

"Yeah."

Ruby nodded before she turned her attention elsewhere, "Norma! I was wrong!" She skipped over, "We can _totally_ talk about Emma and the Mayor."

"Oh good." The old lady smiled and turned to the crowd that immediately gathered at her and Ruby's side. "It's been a good two months since I first saw the bug parking outside the Mayor's house."

Emma jut her jaw to the side, shaking her head as she walked out the door.

She made her way over to the mayor's office and snuck passed the secretary, but walked into the office skulking, eyes on the floor, regret visible in her face. "I'm a jackass and I'm sorry and I didn't mean it and it was a really, really stupid thing that just popped out of my mouth and I love you and I'm sorry and please, please, please forgive me."

"You what now?" Snow's voice filled the room.

Emma finally looked up and found her mother and her quasi-super-secret girlfriend sitting across from each other, proposals in their hands. "Uhhh… I'll come back later." She started for the door.

"No. Please. Stay." Snow stood and placed her hands on her hips, "And go back to the 'love' part."

Emma looked genuinely confused, "What?"

"The part where you told our arch nemesis turned part-ally that you loved her." Snow stared her daughter down.

"Did I say that?" Emma looked from her mother to the brunette. She saw the reaction in Regina's eyes and knew that she had in fact let it slip… after only a day of complete realization.

"Yes." Snow said from behind her.

Emma ignored her mother and made her way over to Regina, "I do, you know. I really, really do. Like a lot. Like never before have I truly understood romantic love…" She squatted and looked up at Regina in her chair, "That okay?"

Regina simply nodded dumbly, "Me too." She whispered.

"Good gods." Snow's tone was almost bored, which caused all the attention to be on her. Once she realized that both her daughter and her former nemesis were staring at her, she spoke, "What? It's about damn time. I mean it was hard enough watching you both fall for each other without realizing it, then watching you both tiptoe around each other as you tried to be friends then knowing that both of you thought that having a friend like each other was pretty much all you could do and then watching the pretend easiness…" She rolled her eyes, "I mean, I thought it was finally going to happen with that blackout a few months ago and you both got trapped in that elevator…. But no! No! So what did I have to do? I had to go to Neal, who happily providing Hook, Jefferson and August with Puppy Love, and then the two of us had to think of a way to plant the idea in Henry's head, which I promise was nothing bad, just a little dream-weave. And then… Then we had to wait, and I tell you what… It's about damn time."

Emma and Regina stared at Snow for a least thirty seconds.

Then Regina started laughing, "You actually expect me to thank you? To believe you for that matter?"

Snow shrugged, "Regina I never expect you to do anything a normal person would. And honestly, we both know I didn't do it for you… not entirely for you anyways. I mean this is my daughter you're with. I'm not making up for past crimes, we both know I can't. But it just so happens my daughter makes her happy and for some reason your borderline personality and slightly demented mind makes her happy too. So, win-win." She sauntered out of the office.

Regina and Emma looked back to one another, a smile started growing on both their faces.

~0~0~0~0~0~

"You know, I still don't see why you guys thought you needed to keep it a secret from me..." Henry said as he adjusted his bowtie.

"Well, kid… We weren't sure and we wanted to be sure and…" Emma bit her lip, "I was all ready for it when she told me about your plan and she said 'no' so talk to her." The blonde touched her 'Elsa' braid, smoothing down.

Henry stared at his mother, "Nah. I think I'll stay here."

"Oh?"

"Yeah… Grandma's over with Mom and I don't think I want to hear anything they're talking about."

Emma pursed her lips, "I think you wanna go check and make sure they're both still alive." When Henry didn't falter, she gave him the puppy eyes that made him do whatever she wanted, "Please kid?"

Henry sighed, "Fine." He walked out of the tiny room.

Emma turned and looked at herself. She smirked as she looked herself over in the mirror. She was very Sandra Bullock 2010 Oscar chic.

Henry knocked on the door to his brunette mother's room, "Mom?"

"Come in!" He heard his mother yell. As he entered he heard the sounds of fire and looked up to see a fireball in his brunette mother's hand. "How can I help you, Henry?"

Henry looked around to see Snow hiding behind the couch. "Mom..? Put the fireball out."

"Make her apologize." Regina said seriously.

"Grandma? Say you're sorry."

Snow looked at her grandson baffled that he would automatically take his mother's side, "But she—"

"Grandma, is it your wedding day?"

"No, but—"

"Then say you're sorry."

Snow and Henry had a small staring contest before she finally sucked it up—she was angry about it, but she did it anyways, "Fine! I'm sorry Regina."

"You're lying."

"Well of course I am."

This time it was Snow and Regina that had a staring contest. Regina diminished the fireball, "Very well."

"What happened?" Henry asked after the fire was put out—literally.

"She doesn't think I'm good enough for your mother." Regina rolled her eyes at Snow.

"She's not."

"Okay.." Henry said, clearly not agreeing with his grandmother, "Then who is?"

Snow pursed her lips.

"And if she's not then why did you go through all the trouble you went through to get them together?"

Snow didn't have an answer.

"Grandma. I think you're misplacing your feelings. I think you're anxious and I think that you're about to have another baby and I think you're nervous because you and gramps are technically like 60."

Snow didn't give a reaction of her grandson's words to his face. No, instead she took his head and tilted him down to kiss the top. "I'm going to check on your mother."

Henry turned to Regina once Snow left, "She's about to pop. She's got pregnancy brain; we've been saying that for weeks."

"Yes, but I'm getting married today. It's my day. For once it's not about her and her life and the fact that she made Emma happy, avenged her family and defeated all the evil in me and made up for all her past dues with me because she made me happy too. It's about Emma and it's about me and it's about us and our starting our life together officially."

"Mom… You've been inseparable since you got together. Don't pretend that anything is going to change except all of Emma's crap is going to be at the house and not just most of it… And now you can't send her to Gram's and Gramp's when she pisses you off."

"Henry!" Regina scolded.

"What? It's true. You're going to have the rings and that will make what you've been doing for the last three years really real, but other than that nothing is going to change."

Regina gave her son a simple look and put a hand on his shoulder, "I wouldn't say that."

"Why? You pregnant? You and Emma have a magical baby growing weeds in your uterus?" He joked and when his mother didn't scold him or tell him no right away he stopped the grin that came over his face, "You are pregnant, aren't you?"

"Don't tell anyone. I'm going to tell your mother tonight."

"I'm gonna be a brother?" Henry had a big smile on his face.

"You're gonna be a what now?" Snow asked as she walked back in.

"Nothing." Both Henry and Regina said.

"Did I hear what I think I heard?" Snow asked them both.

Regina walked over to the other woman. She got insanely close to her and let her hands spark, "You didn't hear anything."

Snow leaned in, "Does Emma not know?"

"There's nothing to know." Regina started, "But no she doesn't."

~0~0~0~0~0~

Emma was running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, "Baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time, baby time!" She'd ran into the house to get the suitcase. Then she forgot the keys. Then she'd forgot her wife, who was still trying to get on her shoes, then they both forgot to tell their son. Throughout all of this, Emma repeated those words. She finally got up to Henry's room, "KID!" She yelled as she walked inside his room, "BABY TIME!"

"MOM! I'M TWO FEE AWAY FROM YOU!" He yelled back as he grabbed his shoes, phone and ipad and walked downstairs with her.

"Baby time, baby time, baby time." Emma skipped to the car.

"Henry?" Regina held her stomach as she looked at her son.

"Yeah, mom?"

"You know that we love you and we're going to love you just as much as we do now after the baby's born right?"

"Baby time, baby time, baby time." Emma sang as she put the pedal to the metal.

Henry looked at his blonde mother and back to his brunette one. He smiled, "Yeah, Mom, I do."

He never would have thought that his plan for his parents to pretend to be together, that turned out to be his dad's and grandma's plan would turn into him getting a little sister while his blonde mother sang to herself and his brunette mother cursed his blonde mother out for making her that way. He never thought that he would be in such a modernly normal family.


End file.
